anathema
by pastel gaps
Summary: Behind the mirror, there is a man watching her.
1. Chapter 1

anathema

 **by: pastel gaps**

He watched her. Followed her. Stalked her.

She had become a bad habit of his. He hated it. He hated knowing every perfect crevice of her pale skin. Of knowing the dusty freckles on her cheekbones or the heart-shaped birthmark on her left inner thigh, thinking it was all intentional to reference her own name.

Heartfilia.

He couldn't count the times he uttered her name like a prayer. She always had a way, a call out to release his innermost wanton desires.

It happens in very both expected and unexpected moments. It happens when she's changing in front of him after a long bath, not even bothering to shield her voluptuous chest or the apex of her womanhood. Not aware that she's not the only one in her room which she kept a safe haven. It happens when she finds herself feeling lonely. When the only solution is to drown herself with self-pleasure. Especially when she's doing it in front of him, spreading her legs to reveal her want for love and affection. Watching her finger dig inside her–followed by another, and another. He figured it was some sort of fetish. He often wondered what she was thinking then.

Right now, it happens when she's sitting across from him. She's wearing a long dress he had never seen before. It was white. Hid her beautiful assets in a conservative way and yet he finds himself touching the plane–as it is the closest he could ever touch her. She's putting more red on her lips as she leaned for the mirror, examining her reflection up close.

He could see the different slits of brown in her eyes when she was this close to him. She had wide, doll-like eyes. He wanted to continue staring at them, getting lost in them but she abruptly sat up and stormed off with her heels in hand.

He growled possessively at the sudden loss of her sweet scent. He really hated it.

He was always drawn to her. He finds himself enjoying the most company he could make out of her. He predicts what she always does. She's a lady who enjoys following a certain pattern.

He still hated his bad habit.

But just as quickly as she entered her room, another person followed. It was too dark to see anything but he knew well what exactly was happening. She was pulled into the wall beside her door, knocking every piece of items on the floor as she was then sat up on her own dresser.

He finds his fingers digging into his palms as anger flared deep within him. As he witnesses her being undressed so lasciviously. He watches her back arching by the wall as her breasts were licked and sucked by another man.

She hooks her legs around the trespasser's waist, wasting no time on her bed–they fell with a soft thud.

He could only make out the sounds of the bed creeking beneath them, along with thighs smacking each other, loud moans and some string of curses. It felt like an endless cycle to him. The sounds drowned out his senses, or whatever part of him awake at the moment.

But really it was only about ten minutes, as the stranger was in the middle of a slow thrust–saw something in the corner of his eyes. He abruptly stopped, using her lower back for support, he glanced to his right but saw nothing more but the mirror.

"W-why'd you stop?" Disappointment visible in her voice as she gave him a look from her kneeling position.

She's left ignored because there was clearly something more important than sex. There's something eating him alive–something which made his body shake violently from fear. The mirror just looked regular, something old. An antique maybe. He had absolutely no idea what it was but he knew he needed to leave. Fast.

She watched as he hurriedly buttons his dress shirt, he's fixated on something...

"Why are you getting dressed? Am I not–"

"I forgot something"

What pathetic excuse. All sense of guilt and lust gone from her system as she heard the same lame excuse men use every time she coaxes them to more than just kiss her. It felt like they all had the same issues. They always leave before something could actually really happen. They always leave with their tail between their legs. All cold sweats and incoherent sentences.

Were they afraid of her?

She could not fathom an excuse as to why. Her red lingerie certainly wasn't something scary. She surely did not have any STD's. She felt pathetic, of even thinking that it's on her. He was gone by the time she gave up.

She absolutely hated being left sexually frustrated. Sighing in what felt like another defeat, she opened her bedside light. The mirror had caught her eyes by the time she ghostly rubbed herself delicately.

Tonight, she decided–she needed release.

She slid both of her legs on the side of her bed, facing the mirror. She frowned at the sight of her lavished body. She always had to do things on her own. With another sigh, she rubbed herself with her forefingers. Her eyes returning to it's half lidded haze as she continues her torturous pattern.

As he expected, she's facing him. He frowned at quite the distance between them, she usually sat on the floor, face-to-face with her own reflection. He noticed she's taking her time with a slow pace. It was killing him inside.

"Damn it Lucy!" If he could be the one to pleasure her, he would.

He would fuck her senseless until she couldn't walk for a good week. Maybe two. But this was his hell. He chose this hell. He growled at the sight of her finally inserting two fingers while the other hand tweaked her already swollen nub.

"Ah... Ah"

" ** _Natsu_** "

His given name. He remembers. He gave himself that name. His name is Natsu.

And she called for him.

If his hell involved insanity, this was it.

But he watched her call his name. Again and again. And again. And again.

"Natsu.. Na-atsu.. Natsu.. Ng-nhatsu.. Natsu Natsu Natsu! Please!"

She was begging for her release–no. For his release.

He watched, frozen in his place. There's not a single coherent thought in his head right now. He was all blank. Then to her, it was a moment of pure bliss as she lets herself fall on her mattress to catch her breath.

She realized. She just called out the mysterious man from her dreams. How embarrassing. Even to her, it really was. Natsu has taken a part of her life, in this case, her dreams. She couldn't remember when it started but it started off slow.

She grasps the color of burnt salmon.

A few nights later, she learned his eyes to be piercing green.

A little later than that, he introduced himself as Natsu.

They went on innocent dates and happy endings.

Soon, she found herself waking up one morning with a very wet underwear and a vividly sex dream.

Those dreams became more frequent. She felt loved by the man. Even if, even though he wasn't real. She concluded, at least there's a part of her that's happy and contented.

He snapped back to reality with a jolt, only noticing just now, her exhausted and unconscious body lying limply on her bed.

"Did she know?" That the only thing he could think of.

How else would she know his name?

It wasn't difficult to convince himself either. Because he realized something. So maybe it wasn't just her fetish to watch herself in the mirror.

Maybe she was drawn to him too.

The thought immediately angers him. He wanted to break the plane. He wanted to be with her. Yes he was being selfish but he wanted her for himself.

He's going to break the plane.

He gazed at his hands.

Even if it meant using his own fists.

She wakes up the next day. The sun's rays slipping from the crack between her fingers as she tried to shield her face away, wanting nothing more but to catch up on more sleep. Her body was sore too, she didn't want to move–not a single fingernail.

"–Ms. Heartfilia! You have a gue–oh"

"Not now" She murmured sleepily.

"B-but he says it's quite urgent"

"How many times do I have to tell you–" She stops herself as she sat up. She sees the burnt salmon, followed by the piercing green eyes.

"I'm Natsu. I'm here as your new neighbor, my lady" He has an all-knowing grin on his face.

A lump was forming in her throat. There were just no words.

Because what he said deemed her impossible to speak or to answer.

"Are you dreaming of me often? Lucy?"


	2. Chapter 2

anathema

 **by: pastel gaps**

Lucy watched her neighbor.

She followed his every movement religiously. Tried to remember every quirks of his body as he chops on some wood just below her bedroom window. His top half naked–shirt discarded somewhere, knowing it was unimportant at the moment. She realized his body, the one that pleasured her is something more than she could muster from her dreams.

His muscles glistened with sweat and sunlight. The veins in his forearms deliciously twitching as he swings the axe forward to cut a block of wood in half. His neck, soon glided his broad shoulders, stopping at the base of his lean arms–she remembers the same arms that held her after an intense love making. His chest–god he loved his chest. It was carved to perfection, she often wondered what it would feel like gliding her tongue on it, for real this time. His abs a total separate story, the sight made her belly warm. It caused her cheeks to redden and to react five seconds too late when she realized, he caught her staring.

A boyish smirk on his handsome face. He's catching his breath, one arm raised to acknowledge her. She feels her chest quicken, thankful that she's at least ten feet above him. She raised her arm too. Then he continues his task.

She licks her lips. She could only take much before–

"I need to take a shower"

Natsu knew fully well that she was watching him. He actually did not want to make any effort of helping her gardener. It was such a laborious task, involved too much effort but when he sees her sipping on tea by the window, he walks up at the struggling worker, offers his help and then takes his shirt off.

It has been exactly a week, pretending to be her neighbor.

And she struggles to talk to him every time.

No it wasn't because he had strolled into her bedroom that faithful day, it wasn't because she admires his very presence way too much. It was amusing yet frustrating at the same time. It was always at a tipping point where every time he draws near, she's turned on. His inhuman senses didn't help either. He could smell her. She's like dark chocolates dipped in champagne. His own frustrations heightened when he saw she's no longer behind the window.

He could at least take her. Claim her.

Heck he was so tired of keeping his distance. He knows she is too. Without wasting anymore time, he paces to the front door with long strides. Her scent became stronger every step he took. He felt his southern regions twitching, wanting. Demanding. He growls as her scent dulled his senses to the point his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

He wants her. Needs her. Now.

By the time he reached her bedroom door, he stops his hand from opening the door–to the sound of her moaning.

His name. Again.

Unaware of him. Again.

"Fuckin hell Lucy" He growls before almost destroying her door.

He half expected to see her on her bed. "Ah"

Then he snaps his head to her bathroom door.

He sits on her bed, mustering all self control because he's just so mad. Rage and lust didn't bode well together, he realized. He's lost between wanting to ravage her on the tiled floor of her bathroom or just yell at her face for touching herself and calling out his name. Wanting nothing more to do with him.

Or he could do both.

He stood up from her bed, ready to discard what is left of his clothes–when her door opened. He stops by the sight of her wrapped in nothing more but a pink towel. Her golden hair darker in color as it clung to the shape of her neck. He sees beads of water gliding her body purposely. He feels his blood rushing in his crotch as he glances up her face.

Her mouth quite agape and eyes half lidded from her post orgasm a while ago. It wasn't long either to show her embarrassment by the deep rose color on her cheekbones.

He drops his hands on his sides. A smirk on his lips.

"Hey"

He watches her hands tighten on the tip of her towel.

"W-what are you doing here?" She tried her best to casually walk to her closet.

"I sort of got lost... Looking for the toilet"

She's kneeling by the drawer, unaware of how silently he's making his way towards her.

"Yet you've been here before. How could you get lost?" It was meant more for her than to him actually.

"I have" She jumps slightly when his voice was just coming from behind her.

She sees him before her. A good feet distance. She stands up to realize how tall he is. He's basically staring down at her intensely. Something tells her he did not really got lost.

She clears her throat to get his attention, casually (try as she might) to walk past him.

"And so you have" She repeats with more authority in her voice this time. She mentally patted herself on the back for not stuttering this time.

"Downstairs, left wing. The last door by the hallway"

He got lost when she decided it was best to be across the bed as the distance between them. She really did not want anything to do with him, despite screaming his name in her leisure. He narrows his eyes at her, not really ready to back down himself.

"Do you need anything else?" She thinks she's so casual but had not realized when he's back right in front of her.

"Actually I do"

It happened too fast. She's suddenly sitting on his lap by the bed. It was a second later she realized he had his hands below her waist.

And she's not stopping him either. In fact, her shoulders sagged to relax in his touches. His eyes were so soft, the green in them were so easy to get lost to. She just had never seen eyes so green before, she could stare at them all day and–

"Tell me. What were you doing in there?" There's demand in his voice. His stare morphing into more of anger.

There's more red on her cheeks, spreading to her ears and neck. He's internally grinning now as he placed one hand on her back to adjust her closer.

"T-taking a shower" She wouldn't meet his eyes.

To him, it was not enough. "What else?"

He watched as her eyes gradually turned wide in realization. Finally.

"H-how long have you been in here?"

"Just enough"

Her beautiful mouth gapes at him the second time.

And he takes his chance.

He takes a long inhale on her neck. She smelled so nice. So good. He never knew he could want something so much that his chest hurts. Dark chocolates and a hint of champagne. Bittersweet and quite acidic. It's quite intoxicating.

"Luce..." His voice low and gruff.

He takes another.

He nuzzles the skin below her ear. He hears her gasp lightly, trying her best to mute her sounds when he's planning to do the opposite.

"W-wait" She weakly tries to push him away as she sees her towel dangerously lowering on her chest. There's conflict on what she wants. She knows she wants him but–

He tightens his hold on her waist, his other hand pushing her forward. She feels her naked sex on the material of his pants. She's getting wet already but–

"Natsu wait" She pushes him again.

This time he lurches back, anger still evident in his eyes.

"What?" He growled.

"I-it's just that..." How could she explain?

"You'd rather touch yourself than I touch you. Is that it?" Despite the anger or whatever inner struggle he's feeling, fear is very evident in his voice. Fear of what? Of actually being right? Of being rejected?

She stares at his fear. Feels his touch leaving her body. His once intense gaze avoiding to meet her eyes.

No she didn't want him to go.

So she locks her arms around his neck and kisses him full on the mouth. His lips chapped and tasted of husk, salt and mint. She wanted more, without even getting anything from him, she angles her face to kiss him more–to explore his mouth.

He tasted so much better than what she remembers in her dreams. This is reality, she's kissing the man of her dreams.

"Don't go" She says in a hurry before returning to his lips, paying close attention into softly nibbling his lower lip.

He gets back on his senses in time to claim her lips back. He attacks her lips with more possessiveness. She felt like it was their last day on earth as he kissed her senseless but refuses to acknowledge her own. So she nudges his tongue with her own. Soon enough, they're both exploring each other. It wasn't difficult for him either to claim dominance. He knew well enough how submissive she is. He sucks on her tongue, her lips. They part to catch their breath. While they do, he gets to admire his beautiful work. Her swollen lips, disheveled appearance and eyes clouded with lust.

He glances on where she's sitting, knowing fully well his pants is wet. He slips both of his hands inside her towel, to glide, squeeze and just tease her ass. She moans lightly. He gives close attention to her neck, how inviting it was to just glide his tongue on it.

"Ah..." She gives him better access, as she presses her hands on his soft hair.

Her hands–playing with his hair like that urges him to grind at her.

And so he did while sucking on the skin between where her collarbones meet.

"Ah Natsu" His ears perk up at the call of his name. But this time she's fully aware of him. And she wants him.

He grins on her skin as he finds himself getting lower, stopping by a generous amount of her breast showing from her towel. He circles, plays and sucks on her breast. He growls at her towel, the very existence offending him.

But before he could turn the object into ash, they hear the door click open. She immediately jumps away from him and raises her towel to cover the bite on her chest.

"Ms. Heartfilia, a business partner just arrived to discuss private matters with you" It's the same maid who walked him to her room that day. He was grateful to her but right now, he wants nothing more than to lock the worker in a dark room and throw the key away.

The maid finally acknowledges his presence and immediately darts her eyes back to her master, waiting for a response.

"T-tell him I'll be there in five"

He waits impatiently in her room. Despite his convincing nudges for her to stay, she says she couldn't–so she didn't. She throws on a plain dress that hugged her figure amazingly well. It made his mouth water but before he could get his hands on her, she was out the door.

And so he has been pacing in her room with a very frustrated libido. He was going through insanity as another second turned to a minute turned to an hour turned into another second and to a minutes and–

"Fuck!" He curses loudly.

She's been out there with some other man. She might as well be naked as she sat in front of herself so called "business partner". He's probably undressing her with his eyes right now and she'll be completely clueless. The mere idea puts a bitter taste in his mouth and a flare in his eyes. He was about to find whichever room they were in but before he could, she walks in with a sigh of tiredness.

He narrows his eyes at her. She lost her scent–replaced with some cigarette and sweat.

She wanted to collapse on her bed and take a long nap but he was preventing her from doing so by trapping her to the door.

"What did he do to you?" He's angry again and she was too tired to fight him off.

She pushes one arm away as she walks past him and collapses on the bed.

"He didn't do anything" She finally answered.

He sat beside her, pulling at her so she faced him.

"But why do you smell funny?"

She recalled what he meant, still really tired to actually knock some sense into him.

"If you call puffing smoke on my face and the air conditioner not working as something he did. Then yes he did do something"

He's on top of her now. Arms resting on the mattress, he looks her straight in the eye.

"This isn't funny. You should never be alone with another man but me" He kisses the tender spot he sucked on previously. "Only me"

He continues the torture until she's pushing her body flush against him.

"About damn time we're alone" He comments before effortlessly discarding her dress somewhere, leaving her panting in her bra and matching underwear.

The very sight was enough to poke his boner on her covered sex. She gasps loudly at the friction, it felt so warm and good. She rolled her hips at him–elicited a low growl while he was busy sucking on the space between her breasts.

"Lucy" She hears her name on his lips as she continues to grind against him, as he continues to suck and tug and bite on her skin.

He could mark her his at the moment. He could do that and she was looking forward to more of him. As he sits up to undo her bra, he sees something in the corner of his eyes.

He freezes, eyes wide and hands trembling.

The mirror. The plane he was once in, the one he broke with his bare fists until they bled–is now standing where he usually stood. It looked brand new as if it wasn't broken when he walked out of it. Then he sees his own reflection, he sees past it and he mounts off her. Lying on the bed, trying to still his breathing.

"Natsu w-what are you–" She stops herself when she sees fear in his eyes, in his movement.

So he was just like the rest. She tasted salt in her lips, realized they were her tears and soon hastily wiped them off.

"Before you think it's on you. It's not" She freezes on his voice as he read her mind.

He pulls her towards him, arms hugging her waist. She could still feel him tremble.

"I didn't forget anything. I'm not going anywhere. I want you. I want you so much" He says in a whisper with a hand on her cheek.

"But why can't you?" Her voice breaking with every word.

"I can't tell you right now but soon I'll be able to. Just give me some time" She seems to believe this as she scoots closer to him.

He kisses her forehead one last time before they drifted off to sleep, being on each other's dreams.


End file.
